An Introduction To My Crap Heart

Hello my name is Sara and last month I learnt that my heart wasn't working properly.

That was some scary shit. Allow me to go back to the beginning and I'll explain this in full, with minimal swearing (I can't really promise that.)

Last month I was taken to hospital because, unfortunately for me, I couldn't breathe properly. After being kept in for two days I heard the doctor utter the two most terrifying words I have ever heard 'Heart' and 'Failure'.

Turns out my lungs were filling with fluid, I had a heart rate of over 130 beats per minute and I couldn't sit up without falling over.

I honestly thought I was going to die.

Until later that day a cardiologist finally came to see me. He explained that my ticker was enlarged and not working properly, which is basically what heart failure is, your heart doesn't pump properly so fluid builds up in certain organs as the heart can't flush it out.

He told me I'd be moving up to the cardiac care ward and that  he'd be looking after me, while they tried to find out why my heart wasn't working. He then gave me a friendly smack on the shoulder and said 'Welcome Aboard!' 

Welcome Aboard?! Not the best analogy when I was drowning in my own fluids.

After more days where I had an MRI, Echo, ECGs and a very fun test where they stuck a needle into my lungs, I was told I had Dilated Cardiomyopathy (DCM) and Impaired Left Valve Systolic Function (my heart is not pumping very well at all.) 

This is how the British Heart Foundation describe what DCM actually is.

If you have DCM, the left ventricle of your heart becomes dilated (stretched or ‘baggy’). As a result, the heart muscle becomes weak, thin or floppy and is unable to pump blood around the body efficiently.

This can lead to fluid building up in the lungs, ankles, abdomen and other organs of the body. This collection of symptoms is known as heart failure.

Sounds fun huh? With this new discovery found and my heart rate finally under 100bpm I was sent home with a plethora of fun drugs and no clue what was going to happen to me.

For the first week I couldn't get up out of bed with any help and I made the stupid mistake of researching my condition on the internet, since the hospital hadn't told me anything.

The internet told me I was going to die. So that was comforting.

The second week I managed to shuffle down stairs! And got out to see my Doctor, who explained to me that I wasn't going to die. If it got worse they'd just give me a new heart. Win-Win!

The third week after leaving hospital I was invited to see the Heart Failure Nurse. I wish they'd given her a slightly less terrifying name, like Heart Care Nurse, something more Care Bear like rather than giving me a sense of impending doom whenever she sends me a letter.

If you have a heart condition you'll have regular visits with a cardiac nurse. Mine is a lovely lady, she explained the damage to my heart and went through my condition in more detail. They still don't know what caused the damage but we think it's a virus. A case of the cocking sniffles probably did this to me.

She also told me that because I was far along with my heart failure, the doctors threw a whole load of drugs at me at once, to get my poor heart to 'calm the fuck down.'

My blood pressure was so low (80/40 normal is 120/80) that she was surprised I could even stand up. She changed some of my medication round and I can now stand up and walk around a little bit without falling over.

I've also got to have regular scans now to see if my heart is improving at all. I've had my first Echo yesterday and will be having a 24hr ECG next week.

An Echo (Echocardiogram) is an ultrasound of the heart. They can see how my heart is pumping, assess any damage and see if I'm improving. The ECG (Electrocardiogram) will measure the electric rythum of my heart to check that it's beating normally.

I'll get my results in a few weeks and update you all.

Right, now that shit is out of the way I'll explain why I'm starting up this blog. While being sat at home worrying my heart was going to explode out of my chest like a xenomorph, I realised something. Everything I was reading related to people much older than me. 60 years +

I am 27 years of age dear readers. I wanted to read about someone like me. I wanted to know how it felt and what was going to happen to me. I wanted someone to sympathise with.

I did not want to read about how my life could be much shorter, or about palliative care, or how I can't bloody garden as well as I used to. I am a young person. I wanted to know how this would affect someone like me.

So this is why I'm starting this blog. To educate people on what it's like living with this kind of condition, plus it's still very early days for me with all this so I'm still learning.

I hope you get something out of reading these ramblings. I'll tell you all about the drugs I'm taking next. 

Please enjoy this picture of me as a fat Psylocke drawn by one of my best friends JL Straw, it is my motivational poster at the moment.